Spiritual BDSM

Spiritual BDSM

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People from all walks of life participate in some form of BDSM. I know that may sound shocking. But in a fundamental sense, it’s been used to punish a partner in some emotional or physical way—as in: “Sleep on the couch; No sex for you … you don’t deserve it …” This type of treatment is naturally performed without the essence of love or seduction; instead, it’s used to retaliate and cause suffering for unresolved or selfish purposes. This is one example of many that I could cite. It’s an unsanctified act of domination—don’t kid yourself, couples use it continuously. Concluding there’s a hell of a lot of people using BDSM tactics in an abusive manner and protesting the BDSM community; #hypocrisy.

More frequent and healthy play include the reward of pleasure or sting of pain to bring out a particular emotion, like blindfolds, feathers, rope, ice, or the palm of one’s hand. These acts can be viewed as silly, sexy, or seriously kinky. In any event, they too, are directly connected to the art of BDSM.

So, whether you like it or not, you’ve probably participated in some way in your own 50 Shades saga.

Having said that, there are so many questions about BDSM that people want to be answered. I’ll address a few simple ones. 

BDSM Questions

The most popular questions that I’ve received regarding the subject of BDSM are:

Q. Can people of faith, specifically Christians, practice BDSM with God’s approval?

A. Absolutely, yes. The Bible condones specific spiritual BDSM behaviors. For more on this, read my book BEDCHAMBERS, available on Amazon.

Q. What is a Dom, a Domme, a Sub, and a Switch?

A. A Dom is a dominant male personality. A Domme is the dominant female personality. Both the Dom and Domme are also referred to as the “top.” A Sub is the male or female submissive personality—also referred to as the “bottom.” And lastly, a Switch can be either male or female— with the blend of dominance and submission, the ability to play either way.

Q. Why do some people enjoy pain more than others?

A. In most cases, people that are the recipients of pain are attempting to transfer emotional or sexual energy to another place within themselves to achieve pleasure. There is a fine line between pain and pleasure. Most healthy BDSM acts use pain transference. To give you an example, it’s similar (but entirely less invasive and harmful) to the actions that “cutters” resort to when they afflict themselves.

For instance, in the majority of cases, a person that chooses to cut themselves is not attempting to commit suicide. They are trying to temporarily remove the numbness that pain, depression, loneliness, or grief has scarred their soul with. They resort to afflicting themselves with pain. This actually can bring a sense of life because they can temporarily “feel” again. This has been a frequent practice among young people for decades now. It’s incredibly troublesome and sad to witness. But the underlying motive is a fair comparison to S&M, to transfer pain and turn it into pleasure. 

Additionally, some people, just like “rough sex” and BDSM, include that similarity. As people mature and evolve, they accumulate feelings. Some emotions are dark and painful. Some can be much more common and benign—like exhaustion, control, or burnout. In any of these examples, people may choose to oppress these feelings. If they are buried long enough, they become numb. Once again, the pain has a way of waking up the life that died around damaged emotions. 

Also, as I just cited, sometimes people are merely in control all the time as a result of their occupation. They are weary of controlling and managing people. In these instances, some resort to submitting to someone else’s commands. They surrender to a trusted person and choose to be dominated and afflicted with some level of pain to sooth them. It’s been medically proven to be therapeutic as the body releases dopamine, which is a “feel good” chemical.

Lastly, for others, there’s just the mere adrenaline fantasy that goes along with BDSM that many are attracted to. This is purely human curiosity that many people (at some point in their life) experience. So, they succumb to participating in some level of BDSM. None of this should be considered perverted, evil, or off-limits. All forms of sexual art should be allowable and practiced by those that love and trust one another.

TYPES OF BDSM

There is so much more to say about the different types of spiritual Christian BDSM—the most crucial thing connected with BDSM is that there should always be “safe words” and mutual consent between the people participating.

Q. Are there communities of people that engage in BDSM that are private about their involvement?

A. Yes. You’ll find ordinary everyday people engaged in some form of BDSM. There are Social Media Websites, Clubs, Groups, and Classes that one can take to educate themselves on the many facets of BDSM.

Q. How far is too far in BDSM?

A. There should be boundaries to every facet of BDSM, but again, mutual-agreement and trust is the bedrock of wellness and pleasure when it comes to practicing BDSM.

By Ron Marinari

www.ronmarinari.com

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