One of the most common fears that people have is kindness. Often times, when someone is too kind, the recipient’s self-defense mechanism switches on, and an alert pops-up stating, “He or she wants something from you.”
Let’s face it, this is a legitimate concern—everyone’s been burned, at one time or another, for being too nice.
If a man is going to master the Art of Chivalry, he must understand that his partner may view his kind acts as a prior rerun that may have left some scars. Consider the following illustration. It sheds some light on the emotional impact that both chivalry and physical touch can create in a person.
The Painted Canvas
Before one is ever engaged in any romantic or sexual activity, they were pure like a blank canvas—colorless and full of wonder to what they might become through the strokes of their painter.
When an individual is emotionally or physically touched, their canvas becomes marked. Edvard Munch beautifully wrote, “The colors live a remarkable life of their own after they have been applied to the canvas of a person’s life.” Munch’s visual analogy is to be commended. Once brushed by the original painter, the painter’s canvas no longer remains virginally white. Some of the strokes on the canvas may be colorful and beautiful, but some may be unlovely, dark, or worse yet, frightful. So, it is with emotional or physical touch.
A recent study showed that 61% of 18-year-olds have admitted to having sexual intercourse.1 This number supports the idea that sexual foreplay and intercourse will be skewed for this 61% when they decide to commit themselves to a lifetime partner in marriage.
In light of my illustration above, allegorically speaking, a painter that no longer cares for his or her original canvas can depart, but the brushstrokes will still remain. The memories that the original painter created will be on that canvas for life. There is no whiteout or eraser for the canvas. Additionally, this same painter will have left two types of brushstrokes upon the canvas: pleasurable and damaging. The pleasurable brushstrokes will rise to compete with any new painter that similarly touches the canvas. Each time the new painter brushes the canvas in a familiar pleasurable way, the canvas will recall the old painter’s hands, which is not suitable for the new painter or the canvas. If not dealt with appropriately, this can become a competing affection that can divide a relationship.
On the other hand, any damaging brushstrokes may serve as barriers to the new painter, forcing his or her hands away from touching the canvas in even a loving way. The canvas will instinctively reject the new painter’s hand of affection if the old strokes are brushed over. This can become one of the greatest sabotages to chivalry, foreplay, and sexual intercourse.
If you become the second painter, which you will be 61% of the time, you must learn that communicating with your canvas will be one of your most prized brushes. In time, you can become the trusted artist and take the consequences of the past pleasurable and wounded brushstrokes, and turn your canvas into a masterpiece. Because bringing your partner to a heightened state of affection is a work of art.
In either case, whether you are in 61% or 39%, you must learn the appropriate Art of Chivalry. Most young men don’t realize the value of gaining a women’s trust and in stimulating her emotionally and spiritually before physical play.
Where the average man needs little emotional excitement to reach an orgasm, women are clearly created differently. This is why learning to engage all your partner’s senses is necessary to master the Art of Chivalry and its understanding.
1 American Teens’ Sexual and Reproductive Health. Guttmacher Institute May 2014
This Blog is an excerpt from BEDCHAMBERS, by Ron and Patti Marinari. Copyright protected
By Ron Marinari
#chivalry #orgasm #foreplay #sexualpleasure